Love languages may be a simple theory but it has transformed many relationships. It invites curiosity rather than mind-reading.
First brought to the world's attention in 1992 by Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor, the love languages concept has somewhat become common knowledge that the way you show love to someone else isn’t always the way they prefer to receive it. It's time you speak the same language as your significant other.
What are the 5 love languages?
The 5 love languages are: Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation. The theory is that each individual has a specific love language they prefer for giving and receiving love. It surmises that not everyone communicates love in the same way, and likewise, people have different ways they prefer to receive love.
Here's an overview of each love language:
Who doesn’t like gifts? Well, apparently some like it more than others! Most of our subscribers probably fall under this category as they enjoy treating themselves! People with gifts as their love language feel most loved when someone brings them tangible gifts, particularly ones that are clearly thoughtful or personalised.
2. Acts of Service
Some people feel extremely loved if you do simple but meaningful things for them: Bringing them food when they’re sick, putting gas in their car, making them coffee in the morning, or being willing to make a personal sacrifice so their day is made better or easier.
3. Physical Touch
Physical touch and intimacy can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language. People who communicate their appreciation through this language, when they consent to it, feel most loved when they are hugged, cuddled or kissed.
4. Quality Time
People whose love language is quality time feel the most adored when their loved ones actively want to spend time with them and are always down to hang out. They particularly love when active listening, eye contact, and undivided attention are prioritised without the distraction of phone screens or other interferences.
5. Words of Affirmation
Some people value vocal expressions of affection, validation, or care. Compliments, words of appreciation and frequent digital communication like texting and social media engagement are what they sought after. Words, spoken or written, make them feel understood and affirmed.
How do I know my love language?
The way you show people you love them—and the way you want them to show you love—are usually clear indicators of your love language.
You might also have one love language for how you like to receive love and a different language for how you like to give love. For example, words of affirmation might be what you need from others to feel loved but the main way you show love to others could be giving gifts.
Though, the more important one to pay attention to is the receiving language — how you want to receive love and how the people around you want to receive love. The giver should attune to the recipient's love language as the point is always to make the recipient feel loved in the way they will actually appreciate.
It is also common to have multiple love languages. However, many believe we have a primary one. It is important to recognise your own primary love language and that of your significant other, family members, friends, colleagues, neighbours, and others who you care about.
Just like how speaking various languages makes it easier for a traveller to interact with people from many places, learning how to speak all 5 love languages will allow you to better relate with others.
Of course, this useful tool shouldn't be the be-all-and-end-all solution for relational happiness. Instead, it should function as a starting point that sets people on a journey to meet each other in a more profound way and thus, self-regulate better. But the work shouldn't just stop there.
Did you know that that treating a loved one to a MyTreat subscription is the perfect Valentine's Day gift that encompasses ALL 5 love languages! They get physical gifts and treats that they can either use for self-care and self-love or share with others, encouraging moments for words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service!